The easy part- the semester is almost over, so school is great and stressful at the same time!
The hard part- I've gone through a series of tests over the past couple months to acquire a baseline for my yearly tests. I love lists so here's a fun one:
The tests I underwent in order:
1. MRI with contrast
2. Breast Ultrasound
3. Ultrasound guided biopsy with follow-up MRI
4. Mammogram
and next on the list.... drumroll please...
5. MRI guided biopsy
It doesn't seem like as many tests when I put them in that list. Each test came with it's own fun story, so here goes:
My first test was a MRI with contrast. I did not realize I was nervous until I had a vasovagal episode while the woman tried to put the IV into my arm. My vasovagal episodes look like I am having a seizure and then I pass out. I'll be honest, I have had three total episodes including this one, and this was my worst one. I scared everyone at the imaging facility, and my mom- sorry Mom! After I woke up, I begged to still have the MRI done even though I was weak and shaky. They had called in a doctor and he "cleared" me to get the MRI as long as they could get the IV in without me passing out again. Well, we switched arms, laid me down, and the doctor told me dirty jokes. I belly laughed and the IV went in just fine. Then came, surprisingly, the easy part. The actual MRI was pretty easy. They put me on my belly and my breasts were positioned in holes in the board. (Not my preferred position.. Side sleeper problems!) The machine started, and I won't lie, it was loud. I was ready for that though and I was just trying to monitor my breathing because I was still shaky. I was in the machine (unmoving) for a little over 30 minutes and the contrast was pumped in about halfway through. Best part? I came out with some funky lines all over my face (think high school chemistry goggle marks, but worse!).
Results: We found stuff. Come in for more tests.
My reaction: SUPER SAD FACE! I did my best not to cry, I did my best to say it was probably nothing. But a hallmark commercial came on, or whatever, and I lost it more than once.
*****
Second test was a breast ultrasound. It is exactly what it sounds like. You've either seen a pregnant woman have one in person, or in a movie, or on a show, or you were the woman haha! So think ultrasound, but on my breasts. So, being the scientist I am, I watched the screen the whole time and asked about a million questions. Shout out to my technician for rolling with it and answering everything she could. The "nodules" that were seen on the MRI were found on the ultrasound and to me they look pebble-like. So then the radiologist came in and she says, "We found it! Let's schedule a biopsy." Well that was not what I was expecting, and neither was my mom, but it finally clicked for me- Do the tests, as many as it takes, to be 100% positive I don't have cancer.
Results: I have a small nodule in my right breast, and two in my left breast. Biopsy time.
My reaction: Can we just get this over with please... I have homework to do...
*****
Third test was the ultrasound guided biopsy. The techs use the ultrasound to find the nodule, then the radiologist shoves a hollow needle into my breast, followed by a smaller needle that then "harpoons" into the nodule twice and brings that back up for the test. I had six biopsies done in my left breast, and three in my right. I did not feel much, which surprised everyone in the room, but I have a high pain tolerance. Although I sound valiant, I'll tell you what did hurt... my entire body the whole rest of the day. I was just one big bruise. When she did the biopsies, she left itty bitty tiny little pieces of demagnetized titanium in my breasts called clips. I know a few people who have clips, you may as well. These clips are used to identify the nodules in the future. If they grow, if they shrink, if they move, etc.
Results: ALL BENIGN! I REPEAT ALL BENIGN!!!!! I DON'T HAVE CANCER!!!!
My reaction: Please reread the last line like 10 more times.
*****
Fourth test?! Why are you having a fourth test if everything was benign?! Because... the doctors think there was another something in my right breast that was not biopsied last time but showed up on the MRI. So... another test was necessary. Let's do this! Mammogram... How do I feel about mammograms? I was scared. Then I had one... that was easy. A spot compression on the other hand... I never want to have one of those again. Never ever. The mammogram was the traditional vice grip- horizontal, vertical, and diagonal. The spot compression was also horizontal, vertical, and diagonal. The spot compression is smaller plates doing the squeezing (think retainer case size and shape), and it squeezed twice as hard as the regular mammogram.
Results: Nothing. The radiologist saw nothing. Which was no surprise because I am young (which means I have dense breasts, which makes it harder for mammograms to find anything)
My reaction: I figured... can we finish this so I can take my finals without stressing about this?
*****
Fifth test- MRI guided biopsy. So this is scheduled for two days after my last final exam. I'll cross that bridge later.. I need to focus on school for the next 25 days.
Results- to follow
My reaction (as of today): I am optimistic. I think it is nothing. But I'm not going to jinx it by saying I'm 100% cancer free yet.
So, I now know all the ladies' names at the imaging place and I've had almost every test done I could have had done. And I'm pretty sure I'm cancer free.
One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
